The eNotes Blog Hey, You ForgotOh, Nevermind Top Ten Books Most Often Left in HotelRooms

Hey, You ForgotOh, Nevermind Top Ten Books Most Often Left in HotelRooms The most common things left behind in hotel rooms are chargers, intimate items, and books.   Every year, Travelodge releases a list of those unfortunate tomes, and here is this years top ten, and for your snarky pleasure, comments from Amazon readers. Topping the list, to the surprise of literally no one who has ever seen the internet, we have the third in the inexplicably best-selling Fifty Shades series.   (So many unanswered questions from the first two, I know. ). 1.   Fifty Shades of Freed  by E.L. James   Review:   Be under no illusions Dear Readers, this book is terribly written. It makes Twilight look like Anna Karenina and that is saying a lot since it started as Twilight fan-fiction (if that isnt enough to put you off then you cannot be saved, good luck to you). Ive read stories by 5th Graders with more character development and narrative drive than this. 2.   Bared to You  by Sylvia Day   Review:   Bare to You is as close to Fifty Shades of Grey as a book can get and not be called Fifty Shades of Grey. 3.   The Marriage Bargain  by Jennifer Probst Review:   Poorly written dialogue sex scenery* make this book very boring. (*Sex scenery? What is that, exactly?) 4.   Gone Girl  by Gillian Flynn Review:   In the authors acknowledgements she writes that she got stuck when the book was 82% completed, and her editor had to help her finish it. She should have just stopped at 82%. I wish there was a way to demand my money back after feeling totally manipulated and ripped off. 5.   The Casual Vacancy  by J.K. Rowling Review:   Ã‚  I thought that a writer of her prodigious talent would probably be able to pull off a non-Potter adult novel with ease.   I was so wrong. Dear God, was I wrong.   6,   Fifty Shades of Grey  by E.L. James (Stay in enough hotel rooms, you could get the whole set gratis! Why you would want them, however.) Review:   The repetitionand the repetitionand the repetition. Im convinced the author has a computer macro that she hits to insert one of her limited repertoire of facial expressions whenever she needs one. According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christians lips quirk up 16 times, Christian cocks his head to one side 17 times, characters purse their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Anas anthropomorphic subconscious (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Anas inner goddess, and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of oh crap (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to holy crap, double crap, or the ultimate triple crap). And this is only part one of a trilogy If I wrote like that, Id use a pseudonym too. 7.   Reflected in You  by Sylvia Day (Where have we seen this name before? Oh, yes at the #2 Spot.   Apparently A Crossfire Novel is where words go to die.) Review:   Whats better than a multimillionaire whose obsessive stalking borders on the insane One who sidelines as a murderer! Thats right ladies!! Nothing says romance like a man who not only tries to kill you in his sleep, but will selflessly kill others in your defense 8.   My Time  by Bradley Wiggins (If you dont picture this when I say Mr. Wiggins. Get off my lawn) Anyway, apparently Mr. Wiggins fans arent much for assembling words either.   Although this book was abandoned nearly as frequently as the others, it has a total of five review on Amazon. ANNND rounding out the top ten? Well, what a total surprise, Ms. James and Ms. Day.. AGAIN! 9.   Entwined with You  by Sylvia Day   10.   Fifty Shades of Darker  by E.L. James